Let’s get one thing straight: life’s too short to sit around whining on Facebook about how your ex “did you dirty” or how Patrick in HR keeps scheduling mandatory team-building on your only day off. B*tch, do something about it.

And by “do something,” we don’t mean journaling, therapy, or another sad little quote on your Instagram story. We mean drop a Nugget so hard it leaves a crater.

• Got a toxic ex? Mail them a box of flies.
• Boss breathing down your neck? Ship a Potato Roast with their face on it.
• Neighbor revving their mufflerless Honda Civic at 2 a.m.? Stink bomb, baby.
• Mother-in-law giving “advice” again? Send her an Emotional Support Poo with a note that says, ‘Sit on this.’

Butt Nuggets exists for one reason: genius comedy and to make the world just a little more unhinged. We don’t do cute. We don’t do subtle. We don’t do “nice.”

So the next time you’re about to bite your tongue, remember: tongues heal. But missed opportunities to ruin someone’s week with a Nugget? That’s forever.

👉 Stop talking sh!t. Start shipping it.