Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear Crocs with socks. Some double-park. Some blast TikTok videos at full volume in public. And those folks? They all deserve a Nugget.

Here’s our official, highly scientific, FDA-unapproved list of people you should be shipping our crap to immediately:

1. The Ghoster 👻

Texted you “wyd” at 2 a.m. then vanished into the abyss? Send them a Nugget. Haunting solved.

2. The Office Food Thief 🍕

Karen from accounting knows that wasn’t “community pizza.” Guess what, Karen—it’s Nugget time.

3. The HOA Dictator 🏡

“Your lawn gnome isn’t regulation height.” Neither is the flaming sack of glitter on your porch, buddy.

4. The One-Upper 🙄

“Oh, you went to Florida? I just got back from Dubai.” Congrats, Todd. Your prize is an Emotional Support Poo.

5. The Ex. Always. 💔

Doesn’t matter if it’s been 3 days or 3 decades. They’re still Nugget-worthy. (Yes, even if you’re “friends now.” Especially then.)

Because here at Butt Nuggets, we believe the world’s BS deserves to be bagged, boxed, and delivered with postage.

So, who’s on your Nugget List? 👀

👉 Don’t just vent. Send the stank.