Listen up, turdlings. We didn’t claw our way out of the sewer just to make “cute novelty gifts.” No. Butt Nuggets was born to do one thing and one thing only: wage war on boring.

Every stale Edible Arrangement. Every “LOL” coffee mug. Every half-assed Hallmark card with a puppy in a basket. They’re the beige wallpaper of life. And they must be destroyed.

Our arsenal? Pure, uncut chaos.

• 💣 Glitter Bombs → the herpes of crafts, ruining homes since 2024.
• 🥔 Potato Roasts → because sometimes carbs are the insult.
• 🧻 Poop Packages → brown joy, now with optional flies.
• 🧸 Emotional Support Poos → because nothing says “f*ck you, gently” quite like a squishy turd plush.

If laughter is medicine, Butt Nuggets is fentanyl. Too strong. Too much. Questionably legal. But unforgettable.

So to anyone out there sending “thoughts and prayers,” or worse—fruit baskets—consider this your wake-up call. You’re basic. You’re beige. You’re a Hallmark drone. And we’re here to flush you out.

This is The Nugget Manifesto. You’re either with us, or you’re getting shipped on.

👉 Pick a side. And then pick a Nugget.