Adoptable Poo Pets
Adoptable Poo Pets
Who needs a dog when you can adopt a deuce? Introducing the Adoptable Poop Pet—your very own stink-free, commitment-free, housebroken little nugget of joy. No barking, no litter box, no vet bills… just a loyal lump ready to sit proudly on your desk, shelf, or mantle like the masterpiece it is.
The Budget
$16.69
No feeding. No walking. Just sh!ts and giggles.
Perfect for gag gifts, office pranks, or that one friend who “can’t handle real responsibility.” Adopt one today and finally fill that empty void in your life—with a nugget.
Dump Sheet
Each poop comes with a snarky adoption certificate, because nothing says “responsible adult” like proudly claiming a turd as your dependent. Want to name it Sir Craps-a-Lot? Go for it. Want to register it as your “emotional support poo” to explain why you’re dead inside? Even better.
- Comes with a Certificate of Adoption, with a fancy wax seal, so you can prove you’re officially a proud Poop Parent.
- Housed in a fancy belled cloche because even crap deserves to be classy. (Just don’t sneeze.)
- Care Card Included
- Polaroid photo with chosen name (if name is provided with order)
Perfect for the prankster who’s got everything — except a pet that’s equal parts hilarious and delightful.
Adopt your new nugget today and start bragging about your crappy companion. Because nothing says “I’m kind of a jerk” like a poop pet on your desk.
Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter, confused coworkers, and questions about your sanity.
Pets vary slightly in shape and size.
Name your Poop Pet at the time of order and we’ll include it on the Adoption Certificate and Polaroid.
Dump Sheet
Don’t Half-Crap It. Scroll down and pile on some Bonus Turds. One Nugget’s funny… but a whole dump? Legendary.
Poop: A Coloring Book
Why color inside the lines when you can crap all over them? This irreverent coloring book is packed with steaming piles, cheeky turds, and doodles that’ll make you giggle while you shade. Perfect for stress relief, gag gifts, or that one friend who still hasn’t grown up (you know the one). Grab your crayons, markers, or finger paints—it’s time to make some fine, crappy art.